Joke Thread

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Joke Thread

Postby Roberticus on Tue Dec 06, 2005 6:07 pm

My entry:
(quite long, but worth it :lol: )

Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by
cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could
live if they pass a trial. The first step of the trial was to go
to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So
all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.
The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought ten
apples." The king then explained the trial to him. "You have to
shove the fruits up your ar*e without any expression on your
face or you'll be eaten."
The first apple went in... but on the second one he winced out
in pain, so he was killed.
The second one arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the
king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this
should be easy. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8... and on the
ninth berry he burst out in laughter and was killed.
The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one
asked, "Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it?" The
second one replied, "I couldn't help it, I saw the third guy
coming with pineapples."
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Postby Evil_cenoura on Tue Dec 06, 2005 6:23 pm

soooooooooooooo oooooooooooold >.<
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Postby Icarus on Tue Dec 06, 2005 6:30 pm

Yet so funny.
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Ghostface wrote:Icarus answered all questions exactly the way I would have.

I qualify him officialy to answer questions like that.
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Postby Mazu on Tue Dec 06, 2005 6:43 pm

hehe nice one 8)
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Postby Roberticus on Tue Dec 06, 2005 6:47 pm

Evil_cenoura wrote:soooooooooooooo oooooooooooold >.<

Even if it is old, some of us haven't heard it ;)
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Postby FraGGer on Tue Dec 06, 2005 7:32 pm

like me :P

he told me on msn i was liek OMG RAWFOL
[img]http://www.tuimz.nl/moon.gif[/img]
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Postby Evil_cenoura on Wed Dec 07, 2005 3:43 pm

was just a comment >.< geez
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Postby Dan on Thu Dec 08, 2005 9:44 pm

OK.



So a guy is driving through the forest, and he runs out of gas, in fromt of a monastary. He goes in and talks to the head monk, and asks for gas. The monk says "Yes, but you must spend the night." So, he is spending the night, and it is 12:00 midnight, when suddenly... "AAAAHHH!!!" A bloodcudling scream comes from deep within the monastary. He says: "What was that?" The head monk says "I can't tell you, you ain't a monk. Do you want to become one?"

So the guy takes the 3 challenges to become a monk. The first, he lived in the forest for a week, by living on Squirrels.
The 2nd, he rubbed his hands together for a year, and they set on fire, allowing him to pass through the wooden wall, by burning it down. (By this time the man was tired.)
The 3rd, he lived on Desert squirrels in the desert for 3 years.

So, the guy was a monk, and he came back to the head monk and he says "OK, I've waited 4 years and a week to see what that scream was, now tell me."
"I cannot tell you, only show you". Said the monk.

So they went through a door in the deepest depths of the monastary, and ended up in a long room full of stuff, like there were boots, and a boat, and a coffin, etc. "This," said the monk, "Is the magical artifact room".

So they opened thew door at the end of the room, and there was a set of stairs going up. So, they went up the stairs. Then, at the top of those, was a set going down. So... they went down the stairs. There were more stairs going up, and so on, so they went up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs, to a door. They opened it... AND INSIDE WAS A PIT OF LAVA!!!! "Oh darn, we forgot the magical stone boat." said the monk. So they turned around, and they went up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs to the magical artifact room. They grabbed the boat, and they went up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs back to the lava room. They crossed, and at the door at the end, there were more stairs. So, they went up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs to the next door, which led into... A BLIZZARD! They couldn't go in, it was like -30 degrees in there, and the guys fingers were starting to fall off. "Oh, darn, we forgot the magical stone parkas." So, they turned around, they went up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs, through the lava, up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs to the magical artifact room. They grabbed 2 parkas, they went up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs, through the lava, up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs to the blizzard, and trudged through. At the end... more stairs. So, they went up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs, to another door. Now they opened this one, and it was a QUICKSAND PIT OF DEATH!!!!!! "Crud, we forgot the magical stone boots. So, they turned around, went up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs, through the blizzard, up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs, through the lava, up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs to the magical artifact room. They grabbed 2 pairs of boots, they turned around, went up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs, through the lava, up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs, through the blizzard, up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs to the Sand room. They threw on the boots, took 4 hours to cross, but they did it. And guess what was at the end... yep. So... they want up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs, to the next door. Inside... WAS A GIANT SPIDER! "Forgot the Raid." So they turned around, went up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs, through the Sand, up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs, through the blizzard, up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs, through the lava, up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs to the artifact room. They grabbed the can of raid, they turned around, went up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs, throguh the Lava, up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs, through the snow, up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs, throug hthe sand, up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs, to the spider room. So, they sprayed the spider, and they went to the end of the room. "Now... is the final door, said the monk." "But first, more stairs." up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairsup the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs... To the final door. The monk ran off. "Hmm... so now I see the evil..." He opened the door a tiny crack... Nothing happened. He opened it a little more... Saw a flash of red, nothing else. So, he FLEW OPEN THE DOOR ALL THE WAY, AND LET OUT A BLOODCURDLING SCREEEEAM!!!!!!"

Now, do you want to know what was behind that door that was so frightnig, so EVIL, that even a grown man would scream in it's presense?

A: I can't tell you, you ain't a monk.


If actually read the whole thing, you pwn.
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Postby Icarus on Fri Dec 09, 2005 11:41 am

I just skipped all of the "down the stairs up the stairs" crap to the rooms themselves.

I have to admit, that joke sucked.
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Ghostface wrote:Icarus answered all questions exactly the way I would have.

I qualify him officialy to answer questions like that.
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Postby Evil_cenoura on Fri Dec 09, 2005 4:31 pm

dan....die
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Postby StormShadow on Sun Dec 11, 2005 1:13 am

How do you make a hormone?

Punch her in the gut!
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Postby Kilt Gaston on Wed Dec 14, 2005 10:19 am

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Postby Roberticus on Thu Dec 15, 2005 4:43 pm

"You know you've been in Finland too long when..."
http://www.netikka.net/knuutti/Hupijutu ... inland.htm

Quite funny :D
(Most of those are actually real, scary...)
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Postby Witzzard on Fri Dec 16, 2005 10:24 am

The shortest mathematican joke:
" Choose an Epsilon <= 0 "

2 Balloon pilots are lost in the clouds and are trying to find out where they are. After an hour they notive that there's another balloon. One of the two 'pilots' shout over to the other balloon: "Excuse me, but can you tell me where we are?!" - after nearly 20 minutes suddenly the pilot of the other balloon answers: "You're inside a basket under a balloon!". The two balloon pilots looks at each other a bit vonfused then one of them look a bit less confused and says: "Ah, this was an mathematican." - "Why do u think this was an mathematican?" - "That's simple, firstly he thought a long time about the answer, secndly the answer was 100% right, and thridly the answer didn't helped anyone...."

- Did i mentionend that i messed up studying maths ? *G* -

A ingeniuer student a art student and a theology student are discussing about what is better, a wife or a lover.
The art student begins and tells the two other that a lover ist the best thing. The relation get never cold and it's exciting as no other thing. And if he don't want this relation it's no problem to end the relation...
The theology student complains and say that you can't trust a lover but a wife. And that's such a good feeling coming home and knowing someone is waiting for you. And that a relation to a lover can't be as warm as one to a wife...
The ingeniuer quielty nods as both are talkin about their point of view and then starts. He tells them that having both at the same time ist the best. Telling them that the wife is thinking you would be in your lovers bed and the lover is thinking you would be with your wife and so you could easily learn without being dsirubted....

Hope my bad english didn't ruined this jokes..
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Postby Roberticus on Sat Apr 22, 2006 4:07 pm

Yupp, resurrecting this thread

Firefox ad :)
http://www.dailysixer.com/ffad.shtml
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